Red Nose Day 2001
Some of our jokes!
Question:
What dog smells of onions?
Answer: A hot dog!
from
Siobhan Cheeseman
Question:
Where do sheep get their hair cut?
Answer:
At the Baa-baas!
from
Clare Hemsworth
Question:
What do you call five bottles of lemonade?
Answer:
A pop group!
from
Siobhan Cheesman
Question:
What do you call a deer with out an eye?
Answer:
No eye (I) deer!
from
Laura Penny
Question:
What do ghosts eat for breakfast?
Answer:
Dreaded wheat!
from
Siobhan Cheesman
Question:
Why was Cinderella rubbish at football?
Answer:
Because she ran away from the
ball!
from
Lauren Ward
Question:
What's the difference between an African elephant and an Indian elephant?
Answer:
About 3,000 miles!
from
Sophie Rainey
Question:
How do you be cruel in the kitchen?
Answer:
Beat eggs and whip cream!
from
Charlotte White
Question:
What's the dirtiest thing in the house?
Answer:
The clock because it has hands but never washes its face!
from
Charlotte White
Question:
What's a cat's favourite T.V show?
Answer:
The nine o'clock mews!
from
Emma Szeifert
Question:
Why did the penguin cross the road?
Answer:
To get to the Birds Eye shop!
from
Dazey Pengelly
Question:
What did the polar bear have for lunch?
Answer:
Ice burgers!
from
Lauren Ward
Question:
Who delivers Christmas presents to dogs?
Answer:
Santa paws!
from
Siobhan Cheesman
Question:
Why did the hedgehog cross the road?
Answer:
To see his flat mate!
from
Lauren Ward
Question:
How does a penguin get to school?
Answer:
On an icicle!
from
Bradley Green
Question:
Why couldn't the car play football?
Answer:
Because it only had one boot!
from
Laura Penny
Question:
Why did the orange stop rolling down the hill?
Answer:
Because it ran out of juice!
from
Bradley Green
Question:
How does a teddy start a race?
Answer:
Ready teddy go!
from
Bradley Green
Question:
What is a snake’s favourite subject?
Answer:
Hissssstory!
from
James Green
Question:
Did you hear the joke about the bed?
Answer:
Bet you didn't it hasn't been made yet!
from
Charlotte White
Question:
Did you here about the man who bought a paper shop?
Answer:
It blew away!
from
James Green
Question:
How do fish count?
Answer:
On fish fingers!
from
Siobhan Cheesman
Question:
What do you get if you cross an ocean and a thief?
Answer:
A crime wave!
from
James Green
Question:
What do you get if you cross a parrot with a centipede?
Answer:
A walkie talkie!
from
Clare Hemsworth
Question:
What do you give a Smurf who hasn't had a drink for days?
Answer:
Thirst aid!
from Sarah Leonard
Question:
How do ghosts like their eggs cooked?
Answer:
Terrifried!
from
Claire Hemsworth
Question:
What do you call a dead dear with out an eye?
Answer:
Still no eye (I) deer!
from Laura Penny
Question:
What should you do if you find a gorilla sitting at your school desk?
Answer:
Sit somewhere else!
from
Megan Welsh
Knock
Knock.
Who's
there?
Boo
boo.
Boo
boo who?
Oh!
I'm sorry to make you cry.
from
Megan Welsh
Question:
Did you hear about the Smurf who invented a wooden car with a wooden
engine and wooden wheels?
Answer:
It wooden go!
from
Sarah Leonard
Knock
Knock
Who's
there?
Cheese
Cheese
who?
Cheese
a cute little girl
from
Ellis Bradford
Question:
What do you call a dog with a car?
Answer:
A land rover!
from
Amanda
Jackson
Question:
How did the frog cross the road?
Answer:
He used the green cross toad!
from
Hannah Walmsley
Question:
What do you call a tree that grows mugs?
Answer:
A mug tree!
from
Amanda Jackson
Question:
What is a cow's favourite party game?
Answer:
Moosical chairs!
from
Callum Newlove
Question:
What's an athlete's favourite vegetable?
Answer:
Runner beans!
from
Callum Newlove
Question:
What goes zzub, zzub, zzub?
Answer:
A bee flying backwards!
from
Siobhan Cheesman
Question:
What was Cinderella no good at football?
Answer:
Because her coach was a pumpkin!
from
Callum Newlove
Question:
What did the black cat say when he lost all his money?
Answer:
I'm paw!
from
Emma Szeifert
Knock
Knock
Who's
there?
Eddie
Eddie
who?
Eddie
body home.
from
Ellis Bradford
Question:
What do you give a sick penguin?
Answer:
Tweetment!
from
Emma Szeifert
Question:
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Answer:
Fsh!
from
Sophie Rainey
Doctor
doctor I feel like a dog!
How
long had this been happening?
Since
I was a pup!
from
Amanda Jackson
Question:
What do you call a line of Barbie's?
Answer:
A barbecue!
from
Sophie Rainey
Knock
Knock
Who's
there?
Moose
Moose
Who?
Moose
you be so nosey?
from
Ellis Bradford
Question:
When is the best time to but a budgie?
Answer:
When they're going cheap!
from
Sarah Leonard
Question:
What do you call five bottles of lemonade?
Answer:
A pop group!
from
Megan Welsh
Question:
A sad horse was drinking in a pub when the barman went up to him and
said, “Why the long face?”
from
Victoria Chapman (Dad)
Knock
Knock
Who's
there?
Bless
Bless
who?
I
didn't sneeze!
from
Ellis Bradford
Question:
What do romantic owls sing when it's raining hard.
Answer:
Too wet to woo!
from
Hannah Walmsley.
Knock
Knock
Who's
there?
Ooze
Ooze
who?
Ooze
in charge here.
from
Ellis Bradford
Knock
knock
Who's
there?
Rose
Rose
who?
Rose
carrots grow in our garden
from
Ellis Bradford
Question:
Think of a sentence that contains officiate
Answer:
A man got sick because of a fish he ate!
from
Victoria Chapman
Question:
What do you get if you cross a jelly with a tall building in Paris?
Answer:
Trifle tower!
from Victoria Chapman
Question:
What did one ear say to the other ear?
Answer:
Between you and me we have brains!
from
Hannah Walmsley
