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| A man walks in to a doctor’s
office. He has a cucumber up his nose, a carrot in his left ear and a
banana in his right ear. “What’s the matter with me?” he asks the doctor. The doctor replies, “You’re not eating properly!” Jared What is big and red and sits in a
corner? Why don’t the most popular crisps
run a marathon? Why wouldn’t the oyster give
anyone his pearl? What do you call two Spanish
firemen? What’s the sharpest side of a
porcupine? Why don’t cannibals eat clowns? How do you do toast in the jungle? What’s green and smells? Why couldn’t the car play
football? What do you get if you cross a
ball of wool with a kangaroo? What do you call a deer with no
eyes? How does Jack Frost get to work? Tow fish were in a tank. One says
to the other, “Do you know how to drive this thing?” Sam: Miss, would you punish me for
something I didn’t do? Who was the first underwater spy? What fish is good for pudding? What exam do young witches have to
pass? What animal goes ‘clip clip’? What do you call four bottles of
lemonade? How do you stop a fish from
smelling? What do prisoners use to call each
other? There are two horses standing in a
field. One horse says, “I’m so hungry I could eat a horse”. The other
horse replies, “Moo!” Which room can’t a ghost go in? “When I was born I was given the
choice of being stunningly good looking or having a fantastic memory. Oh
heck, what was I talking about?” How do you start a fishing race? What do you call a cross between a
kangaroo, a tiger and a sheep? What did the grape say when the
elephant stood on it? How many bricks does it take to
complete a building? Knock! Knock! What has a bottom at the top? Why is it hard to find a dog going
cheap? What goes 100mph in a river? Why is it a bad idea to gamble in
the jungle? Why did the one-handed man cross
the road? Why did the jelly baby go to
school? Doctor! Doctor! I think I’m blind! Doctor! Doctor! I’ve got a sore
throat! Why did the banana go to the
doctor’s? Which bird is always out of
breath? Where do sick bees go? What happened at the cannibals’
wedding party? A fed up Leeds fan nailed his
season pass to a nearby tree. The next morning he went back to the
nearby tree and found that someone had taken the nail! What did the carpet say to the
floor? Why didn’t the skeleton cross the
road? What happens if you put spaghetti
in your shoes? Where did the fish keep his money? What happened to the frog that
broke down? How did the chewing gum cross the
road? Why did the golfer wear two sets
of pants?
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Copyright © 2006 Anlaby Acre Heads Primary School
Last modified:
March 18, 2007
